Help Your Daughter Find The Right Man: Dating Advice For Women

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While Finding The Right Man can help women find a husband if they are over 35, or under it, or find a permanent committed partner, my audience in that respect was “single women” rather than your daughters, so I’d like to offer some suggestions to help them. You might pass this article on to your daughter’s to read too, as well as having them read the book.

In the book, I have a whole chapter that details 28 characteristics women should seek when they are trying to find the right man. Some broad suggestions are to look for men with character and those who are respectful to her as a date, and as a woman. If a man can’t respect a woman when they are dating, any woman should realize that it’s hardly going to get any better after thet get married or start living together. So a man’s character and respect shown to her should be Number 1.

Another suggestion I saw on a dating site forum was to “find the man who calls you beautiful.” I realize that this might sound sort of surface, but a woman should know that she is valued and treasured. If a man says she’s beautiful, and really means it by treating her like she’s special, that’s the kind of man you want for your daughter.

I mentioned in the book that a woman told me that when she was younger she was always looking for someone who was “hot” or a guy who was macho, and passed up on some other guys who she and other women say such things as, ”Oh, he’s too nice or  too good, or he’s a “wimp” because he’s not muscle-bound, super-masculine, athletic or not a good dresser. She said an older woman told her that they were all surface things that didn’t count in the long run, and to look for “nice” instead, and for a man who treated her right. She said she took her advice and started seeing someone she had passd on earlier because of some of her former erroneous thinking. She said she’s been married over twenty years, is happy, and that he still treats her the way a woman should want to be treated.

Many women, young and old are also too picky. No one is saying to cave in and to just settle for any guy. It’s good to know the kind of guy you’d like to find, but many women pass on an otherwise fine man because he isn’t the right age, he isn’t good looking enough, isn’t a good dresser, isn’t Catholic, isn’t Christian, isn’t Jewish, isn’t tall enough, and so on. For every group of men a woman excludes, she narrows her often already narrow candidate pool.

Something parents add to this by insisting that the man should have the same religion. Obviously, for some women, this is a non-negotiable. But that’s for your daughter to decide. But it seems far better to me in the long run for a woman to marry a good and caring man of another faith, or even none, than to marry one of her own who isn’t up to snuff.

If a man truly cares for a woman, he should have plenty of time for her too, if she wants to spend time with him. Any woman who has to keep calling and e-mailing a guy to ask when he’s coming over again, should dump him. Women often make too many excuses, “Oh, he travels a lot or “He’s very busy at work.” If a man loves a woman, he is going to make time for her. Always keep this mind, “People always make time for what they really want to do.”

She should be a high priority, not just something he does when he feels like it. No woman should be a man’s fool. There are too many good men out there who know how to treat a woman properly, than to put up with men like that. A women shouldn’t have to talk a guy into spending time with her. Instead, she should look for the man who wants to be with her and takes every chance he gets to be.

It’s important to look for someone with common interests too. If all a guy wants to do is to go to bars, watch sports and ride his cycle, if a woman has different or broader interests, she should look for a man who shares them with her. They don’t have to share all the same interests, but they should have a number of them in common.

Women should not waste their time with men who don’t want to make a commitment, if that’s what they want. I read about  woman who at the end of the first date told a man that she wanted to be married by the end of the year and was only interested in a man who had that same kind of vision. She wasn’t saying that she expected a marriage commitment after one date, but that she wanted to know that she was dealing with a man who was serious. Some women would say that someone shouldn’t do that because it would “scare men away”, but I thought it was great -and very sensible. In fact, the guy was kind of surprised, but he said he was equally as serious, and they did get married.

Women think sometimes that it doesn’t make any difference if they see someone for a year and then things don’t work out and they move on. It makes a lot of difference. They just lost a year-and many potential opportunities they could have had in the meantime. Know what a man’s intentions are from the start, so you don’t waste time unnecessarily. The older you get, the less time you have to waste too!

Sex can complicate things. While the sex may be good, it can also cloud a woman’s judgment if it happens too early. It’s generally better to get to know someone first, so a woman doesn’t have sexual regrets later. It’s a very good idea in a woman’s online personal statement for her to mention what she is looking for in a man, and what she is not looking for, and also to state that if someone is intending to contact her for sex early on, that it’s her intention only to share herself with a man who she shares a strong, committed relationship with.

What do you think that’s going to do? What’s going to happen is that she is going to get fewer responses, because if a guy’s only looking for quick sex, that’s going to be a turnoff and he’s not going to contact her. And that’s exactly what is probably best for most women. The men who do make contact after reading that are those who are showing that they are looking for a serious, committed relationship too.

There is a great prejudice shared by some women against online dating, sometimes that mothers have passed on to their daughters. This is usually the result of previous bad online experiences. I spend a lot of time in my book telling women how to use the internet more effectively to meet the right man and also how to avoid many problems. If your car broke down, you wouldn’t refuse to ever drive again. You’d fix things so they worked better next time and were more reliable. That’s what daters need to do online. It is just too important of a resource to remain unused. A woman can review basics of hundreds of men in a few hours, that would take her months orf using other methods to do. There are also many specialized sites for women with particular interests that should be investigated. I met my wife, and a former partner, both online and was the lucky one in both cases.

In addition to using the internet, Finding The Right Man For You also has a full chapter on “Ways To Meet Men.”  It has to start with this. If a woman wants to find the right man, she has to start meeting more of them, and unless a woman is online looking, that’s not going to happen staying at home.

Most important in all of this is dating safety. I have a separate chapter on that also. Women should never go anywhere with a man they hardly know, such as out in his car or going up to his apartment or hotel room “to talk.” Women should always have a credit card and cash with them so if a date turns bad, they can get home on their own. If a woman ever feels unsafe, she should just excuse herself to go to the ladies room and then just leave, or stay put elsewhere until someone can come get her. Always safety first. There will be other men.

I hope some of these suggestions have been helpful. I have a whole book full of them in far more detail. My goal is to sell as many copies of “Finding The Right Man For You” as I can, not because I’m trying to make money, which I’m not, but to help as many women as possible find happiness and fulfillment as efficiently and effectively as possible, while avoiding unnecessary dead ends and heartaches.

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